Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
