Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Do you have feelings for this penis?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
