dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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