I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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