Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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