anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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