The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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