At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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