is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize