Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
