She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
