Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
