So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
