I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Less talking, more tequila
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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