I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
