Can Purell be used as lube?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You know, be my cock's hype man.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
