Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
