I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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