Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
