her vagine was all disorganized.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
