your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
