he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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