her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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