She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
