NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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