the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
ttyl tear gas
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
