i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
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