hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
