God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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