You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
