Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
