how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I need a beard to bite.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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