On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
