And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
