did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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