when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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