No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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