So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
