carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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