this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize