The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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