i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
