She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
