making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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