I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
