I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
