it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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