I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
someone owes me an orgasm
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
