We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
