How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize