Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize