I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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