i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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