where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
