Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
