would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
