Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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